Thursday, 12 November 2009

Awakening ...

I feel it is so important to grow the ability to witness (observe) one's feelings and one's actions with detachment: a step removed from the experience of them. Only then one can assess their value with clear objectivity.
Without detachment one has to wait for time to pass and wait for the benefit of hindsight. I always felt a sense of
anxiety in looking back at past events and realise that, with the vision of hindsight, I had not understood them and, worst of all, acted blinded by my misguided emotions. I always cringed at the fact that I was continuously missing the point and again, worst of all, of my ignorance of doing it. My life, as it happens, has been this far a long series of mistakes, misunderstandings, sadness, arrogance and violence. It all changed when Yoga begun to expand my consciousness: my anxiety turned into determination. I would never let a moment pass without the awareness of it and fully accepting the responsibility for it. I often cannot believe that my intelligence did not help me then to see the enormous crevices in my attitudes, the ignorance of my assumptions and on ... so long went by before I realised that my very intelligence was the problem, my mind. I desperately needed intelligence in my feelings, that compassion ...
Since my awakening, life lit up for me and a growing flow of enthusiasm begun to irrigate my feelings and motivate my actions. What a change, man!

1 comment:

  1. Like this. I still work with hindsight mostly :)